Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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