when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
