I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
