Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize