just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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