Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
