Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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