my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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