This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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