His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
