He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
