I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
this is an emotional support booty call
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
