Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
