and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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