apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
