I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
