Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She made me pour olive oil on her.