That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex