I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize