She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
