FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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