Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize