So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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