i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
even my farts smell like vagina
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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