I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
