That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
