how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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