you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
