can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
PANTIES FOUND
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
