so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
