did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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