I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
