are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
