All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
