I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize