oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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