We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
