Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
