I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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