just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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