She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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