he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
