I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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