I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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