Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
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We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
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I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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