this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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