Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
