I met the friendliest cop last night
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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