I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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