): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
