my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
