How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
