In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
