Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
