i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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