Taylor Swift is so right about you.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
