We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
In America we eat man semen.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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