just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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