Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
